We are moving to Thailand.
I have to say that out loud at least once every day. It is surreal. It is exciting. It is terrifying.
Technically, we are taking a trip in a few weeks to scope out the situation in Bangkok. But, I think God has already been whispering it to our hearts. We are headed out… to the other side of the planet. If not Bangkok, somewhere equally far from the chair I’m sitting in right now.
We have waited for this day. At times, longed for this moment. From the day I walked down the aisle in a big white dress, we hoped for this chance. We’ve spent years trying to inspire, encourage, and walk alongside people headed out in this same way. Now, it feels like our number has finally come up at the deli counter. It’s our turn!
Yet, I am completely and utterly terrified. Terrified is such a wonderful word. It is bigger than intimidated or scared. It means to feel extreme fear. Yep. That about covers it for me.
Two big things have happened to me since I walked down that aisle in the white dress. Two big things have happened since we drove a minivan packed with luggage, books and friends to colleges all over the country. We challenged students to hear the call of God’s great big heart for the world and prayed they would follow in obedience – helping in every way to reach the unreached with the Gospel. Those were great days. But, two things have happened since then. Their names are Rush and Finn. They are game changers!
This round of being obedient to what God is asking us to do is unlike any other season we have experienced. There are two little people whose lives depend on us. In being obedient to God, we are setting a new course for their lives. A life where they won’t have grandparents and aunts a short drive away. A life where they won’t spend holidays on a road trip to see the rest of our families. But also, a life where their parents are trying to live out a faithful obedience that is sure to be quite the adventure.
This is the cost. Counting the cost feels a little like the grieving process… and also like taking a giant leap off a cliff. It is worth it. But it is also terrifying.
Almost 2 months ago, we drew the line in the sand and said yes we are going to do this thing — whatever this thing may turn out to be — we are on board for it! I promptly cried everyday for a week after that. I’m fairly certain Billy thought I was losing it. I don’t think he was that wrong! It felt like pure insanity. But then God showed up and gave me an anthem for this stage of our lives.
We decided spur of the moment to join our friends at their church’s VBS. Rush had a sweet week of learning bible stories, making crafts, running around the playground and singing those classic bible school songs. The theme was superheroes – and he even got to SEE superheroes and make a superhero cape. Could it get any better for a 3 year old?! I think not.
Rush loves music. Loves. However, most of the week he was busy watching the adults sing instead of singing himself. I was so curious what he was thinking and how much he was taking in. Several days after VBS ended, I heard him singing some of the songs while he played upstairs in his room. So, naturally, I googled some Youtube videos of the songs so we could dance party it UP!
One particular song that stuck with Rush was Joshua 1:9
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Rush now breaks out in this song ALL. THE. TIME. Each time he does I feel the Lord reminding me to hold these promises close to my heart and claim it as our anthem.
~ Kate ~